I am back. I have to apologize for my disappearance. With a wedding (!) to plan and survive, and a little life challenges to deal with, I have not exactly been inspired to write. But now I am back! And back for good. I have been doing a lot of cooking and a lot of eating. And even dabbling back into home baking. Starting slowly, like someone suffering from PTSD, with the occasional cake or quick bread here and there, I feel like I am finally feeling at ease with my dear o’l friend, Ms. Kitchen Aid, who has been sadly staring at me from her neglected corner.
Maybe I should explain.For those who know, I am a pastry chef in Los Angeles, who has lost her passion for home baking, because honestly after 10-12 hours of doing anything for a living who wants to do it all over again when they get home? Not me! But I realized, this was my go-to meditation, this was where I felt at home. Mixing batters and doughs, creaming butter, proofing bread, I loved it all. I decided that in order to reignite my passion for baking at home, I have got to get (slowly) back into it.
One of the problems that arose with my home baking is that I had all these ridiculous standards for myself for perfection and doing everything the 5 star, 5 diamond way. This is not the case at home. It should be relaxed and rewarding, and sometimes it should be a failure. It shouldn’t matter if you can bake 10,000 macaroons (not an exaggeration) in 8 hours, or make a $10,000 cake for one of the wealthiest royal families before lunch. It should be on my terms; when I want, how I want, and if I want.
That being said, I have to remember that when I am feeling like I am reverting to my old ways, I need to take a deep breath, step back, and appreciate the way baking makes me feel and how rewarding it can be. Because I really don’t want to lose one of my oldest and dearest friends; good o’l Ms. Kitchen Aid.